Queen of the World
Here's what I'd do if I suddenly became queen of the world (ha!):
1. I would make it a law that Lance has to wear leather at least 5 times a week.
2. I would put JC in his own re-hab program and wean him off the crack.
3. I would re-enact the chasing scene from Bye,Bye,Bye with Justin at least twice a month. Then I'd catch him and have my way with him.
4. I would make it a law that Lance never again be allowed to say he's from Mississippi.
5. I would make it a law that Justin not be allowed to wear baby blue. Just to see if I could make him cry.
6. I would make Lance work with weights to increase his buffness factor. Just a teeny bit more muscle and he'll be workin' the wifebeaters like Justin.
7. I would make JC get his teeth fixed. *By the time I'm done with him, he'll be damn near perfect!*
8. I would put Joey on a diet to lose some weight.
9. I would put JC on a diet to gain some weight.
10. I would hold JC down and make him get a tattoo. Time to get over that fear of needles boy!
11. I would never again let any of the boys act. It's just too painful for everyone involved.
12. I would never again let any of the boys pick their own clothes. The fur coat from the VMA's proved to me that they can't be trusted.
13. I would not let the boys change their hairstyles unless approved by me and my tribunal made up of 13 year old girls. Past pictures have proven that they can't be trusted to make their own choices about their hair.
14. I would make it a law that Lance, Chris, and Joey must have at least one solo per album. AND that all the older songs must be re-worked so that they get solos.
15. I'd have the stick surgically removed from JC's ass. Ooops! Did I say that out loud?
16. I would send Britney, Danielle, Bobbi and whoever else there is to the Survivor island with no hope of rescue. Sorry girls!
17. I would send Steve Fatone to the island too. That boy just works my nerves!
18. I would make JC finally admit that Chasez is Latino, not French. There's nothing to be ashamed of JC! Latino is in!
19. I'd make JC serenade me in Spanish at least once a month. No white boy can roll his R's like that! Mr. Shuh-zay, my ass!
20. I would declare Monday as Lance day. I would make him wear all black leather and have my way with him.
21. I would declare Tuesday as JC day. I would make him wear the outfit from the Bye,Bye,Bye video and have my way with him.
22. I would declare Wednsday as Justin day. I would make him wear a wifebeater and...some kind of tight pants (doesn't matter) and have my way with him.
23. I would declare Thursday as Chris day. I wouldn't care what he was wearing as long as he was quiet. Then I'd have my way with him.
24. I would declare Friday as Joey day. I guess I'd have my way with him too. What the heck, might as well spread the lovin!
Of course after all that molesting, I'd need Saturday and Sunday to recuperate. Hmmm...maybe on those days I'd work on world hunger or a cure for cancer or something.