Making the Video - This I Promise You
Yes guys it's true. There was a Making the Video episode for the creation of this masterpiece. But why wasn't it shown, you ask? Well, I got my hands on a copy of the tape (don't ask me how) and believe me when I say this could NOT be aired. Here's what I saw...
SCENE 1
The guys are sitting around a table while the director explains the concept of the video.
Director: Here's how I envision this; we'll place you guys in the Redwoods of Northern California. You'll sing, you'll gesture, you'll look good. Then we'll intercut your scenes with scenes of different couples being together. Couples in love, you guys in a forest...it will be beautiful and meaningful. Then we'll finish with a scene of you guys eating in an outdoor café while the couples that we have just seen surround you. This final scene ties everything together. It will be beautiful and meaningful. So, what do you guys think?
JC: I think we should have bubbles in the video.
Director: What?
JC: You heard me. Bubbles. Lots and lots of them floating around. Oh and I think that I should be in one of the bubbles. I want to float in a bubble.
Justin: That is the stupidest idea I've ever heard JC! What is the point of having you floating in a bubble?
JC then takes out his cell phone and throws it at Justin. It hits Justin square in the head and he falls out of the chair. He does not get back up.
JC: As I was saying...I! Want! Bubbles!
Lance (whispers): JC, try to remember this is being filmed for MTV.
JC: Was I talking to you albino?
Director: Ok, fine...bubbles it is, JC.
SCENE 2
The guys are in the redwood forest. They are lip-synching, the camera is filming and all appears well.
JC: Cut!
Director: JC, I'm the director. I'm the only one that yells cut.
JC (stares at him blankly): Anyway, as I was saying...cut!
Director: What's the matter JC?
JC: The camera is focusing way too much on those people back there. There's no reason for that. Keep it on me ok?
Joey: But JC, we're part of the group too!
JC: Don't flatter yourselves, you're nothing but glorified backup singers.
Chris: Hey, that was uncalled for JC!
JC cracks his knuckles and everyone looks down.
JC: That's what I thought.
Director: Ok, ok JC. We'll only put the camera on the rest of the guys for three seconds each. Is that ok?
JC (nods): Continue.
SCENE 3
The guys are still in the redwoods. They are still lip-synching and the cameras are still rolling.
Justin: Cut!
Director: Justin, didn't you hear what I told JC? Only the director gets to yell cut.
Justin (stares at him blankly): Whatever dude. I've decided that I want to be in a bubble just like JC.
JC: Hey, you can't be in a bubble! That was my idea!
Justin: I can so!
JC: You can not!
Justin: Can so!
JC: Can not!
Justin: Can so!
JC: Can...Oh for heaven's sake! I thought you said that the bubbles were a stupid idea!
Justin: I changed my mind. I sing just as much of this song as you do, and I want to be in a bubble!
Director: Fine! We'll put you in a damn bubble too! Now can we please continue filming this thing?
Justin nods in contentment while JC just looks angry. Lance raises his hand hesitantly.
Lance: Can I be in a bubble too?
JC: Oh. My. God. No, you did not just ask that! Only the leads get to be in bubbles.
Lance: Come on JC. Just let me be in a bubble for like two seconds...
At this point JC walks over to Lance and punches him in the eye. Lance falls to the ground and does not get back up.
JC: Ok, that takes care of that issue. Now, let's get this show on the road people. Action!
SCENE 4
The guys are again sitting around a table with the director, looking over what has just been filmed. Lance's head is tilted back and he has a raw steak over one eye.
Chris: How's the eye buddy?
Lance: Very painful and very black.
Justin: Nice going JC! We still have to do the café scene and Lance looks like he went 10 rounds with Mike Tyson.
JC: It's not my fault! He provoked me!
Lance: What?
Director: Boys, let's just calm down. We'll just let Lance wear sunglasses on his face during the café scene and no one will be the wiser. Ok?
Everyone nods, except for Lance who is trying to balance the piece of raw meat on his head.
JC: Hey listen! I have the best idea for one of the couple scenes in the video.
Director (sighs): And what would that be JC?
JC: We'll film this old guy drawing a picture of this woman on a park bench. Then we'll have the woman look over at the drawing and then turn away with this incredibly disgusted look on her face.
Director: Ummm...that's a great idea JC. Really. I'll think about it, ok?
JC: What do you mean you'll think about it? You'll do it or I'll fire your ass just like I did with Wayne
Isham!
Director (under his breath): That may not be a bad thing. (Out loud): Sure JC. Whatever you want.
Joey: Ummm...JC? How exactly does that fit with the couples in love theme? I mean, wouldn't it be better if the lady smiled at the old man or something?
JC takes his cell phone out and throws it at Joey. It hits him on the side of the head and he falls out of the chair. He does not get back up.
JC: So, anyway, as I was saying...
SCENE 5
They guys are filming the outside café scene. They are lip-synching and the cameras are rolling.
Director: Cut!
Justin: What's the matter? Is one of my curls out of place or something?
Director (rolls his eyes): No, it's not that. It's Joey. Joey, you cannot eat those fries on the table while we film this scene.
Joey: Why not? You said we could put ketchup on the fries; why can't we eat them?
Director: Because Joey...eating messy french fries doesn't fit the beautiful and meaningful ambience that we're creating here.
Joey throws the fries down in disgust.
Joey: Fine! Whatever! But I'm eating them as soon as you yell cut!
Director: Fine, fine! Ok guys...let's try this again. Action!
The guys begin to lip-synch and exchange knowing and meaningful looks with each other.
Director: Cut!
JC: What now?!
Director: Justin, do you think you can refrain from staring at the blond that walks by the table and just concentrate on lip-syncing your part of the song?
Justin: But dude, have you seen her ass?
Director: Justin, if you cannot stop staring at her I will have her taken out of the video! This scene is all about beautiful and meaning love, we cannot have you staring at someone as if she were a piece of meat.
Justin: If you take her out of the video, then you'd better be prepared to take me out of the video too! That bitch is hot and I want her here!
Chris: Justin, what about Britney?
Justin: Who?
Chris: Britney... your girlfriend?
Justin (ignores Chris as he stares at the blond): Honey, you are too fine! Mmm...gonna get me some of that tonight or my name ain't Thrustin' Justin.
Lance: Your name isn't thrustin' Justin.
Justin: Why is the albino speaking?
The director then begins to pull his hair out of his head while Justin continues to toss sexual innuendoes at the blond, Lance nurses his eye, JC pulls out a mirror and practices his beautiful and meaningful look, Chris accidentally takes a sip of the red liquid in his glass and starts choking, and Joey stuffs a mouthful of fries in his face.
SCENE 6
JC is in a studio with a tape in his hand. The other guys and the director are nowhere to be found.
JC: Well, MTV, here it is...our beautiful and meaningful video shot in the Redwoods of Northern California and the happening city of San Francisco. Keep in mind that any and all creative and arty ideas are mine. Hope you guys enjoy...
And there you have it folks. NOW do you see why this "Making of" can never be shown to the general public? BTW...I was curious as to what happened to the director of the video so I did some checking. It seems that he is now in the state hospital for the mentally ill. Coincidence? I think not.